Bowls Jokes (Inc Old, Sports, etc)

Bowls Jokes (Inc Old, Sports, etc)

Connors 16 Oct 2015 21:31

So, I am writing a paper article each week for the papers following each bowls game. I have to somehow get some humour in there, you know by substituting people's names into jokes etc.

So if you guys come across jokes I could adapt (such as sports, old people, doing your block, etc), please help me out by posting below. :)

---

“It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.” – Harry S. Truman

Re: Bowls Jokes (Inc Old, Sports, etc)

Connors 16 Oct 2015 21:34

“Sugar why don’t you sit down by the table and we’ll start supper.” Said Dorothy to her Husband of 50 years.
“Sure thing,” said her husband settling himself down.
“Now darling, would you like the soup first or the salad?” Questioned Dorothy.
“Umm I guess I’ll take the soup.” He responded.
After a whole meal of one endearing term after another, their guest Bob couldn’t contain his curiosity any longer. Bob snuck into the kitchen and asked, “Dorothy do you always talk to your husband like that?”
“Bob, I’ll be honest with you,” Dorothy replied. “It’s been five years now, I just can’t remember his name, and I am just too embarrassed to ask him!”

---

“It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.” – Harry S. Truman

Good Eyesight

Connors 17 Oct 2015 00:45

"How was your bowling game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy.
"Well, I was bowling well but my eyesight's gotten so bad I couldn't see where the bowl went."
"But you're seventy-five years old Jack" admonished his wife, "Why don't you take my brother Scott along?"
"But he's eighty-five and doesn't even bowl anymore," protested Jack.
"But he's got perfect eyesight. He could watch your bowl," Tracy pointed out.
The next day Jack bowled with Scott looking on. Jack bowled to a long jack.
"Do you see it?" asked Jack.
"Yes," Scott answered. "Well, where is it?" yelled Jack, peering up the green.
"I forgot."

---

“It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.” – Harry S. Truman

Kitty

Connors 17 Oct 2015 00:46

My husband took up bowling
and he bragged upon the phone
about some dame called Kitty
whom he couldn't leave alone

He played with Kitty
he stayed with Kitty
he picked her up without a hitch

He missed Kitty
he kissed Kitty
he even layed beside her in the ditch

So I took up bowling
to win my hubby back
and found that what he could do with Kitty,
I could do with Jack

---

“It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.” – Harry S. Truman

Honeymoon Secret

Connors 17 Oct 2015 00:47

On their honeymoon a husband confesses a secret to his new wife. "Darling, I'm a bowls fanatic,"
he says. "You'll never see me at the weekends and all our holidays will be at bowls tournaments."
"I've got a confession too," replies his new wife. "I'm a hooker." "That's ok," replies the husband.
"Just concentrate on your aiming point and take a bit more green."

---

“It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.” – Harry S. Truman

Bowls in HEaven

Connors 17 Oct 2015 00:48

Pat requested his Church to check if they played bowls in Heaven.
After a week the Priest approached Pat with the answer.
He said, "I have good news and bad news".
Pat said, "Tell me the good news first".
The Priest said, "The good news is that they do play bowls in Heaven".
"What's the bad news ?", said Pat.
The Priest said, "Well Pat, the word is out that your name is down for the pairs next Saturday"

---

“It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.” – Harry S. Truman

Obituary of a Bowler

Connors 17 Oct 2015 00:50

USEd - Bowled Over #41

A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased
husband is published. The editor informs her that there is a charge of £1 per word.
She pauses, reflects, and then says "Well, then, let it read 'Fred Brown died' ".
Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor tells her that there is a seven word minimum for all
obituaries.
She thinks it over and in a few seconds says, "In that case, let it read,
'Fred Brown died: bowls equipment for sale.' ''

---

“It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.” – Harry S. Truman

Last edited on 05 Dec 2016 04:51 by Connors Show more

Bowler's Funeral

Connors 17 Oct 2015 00:51

Four bowlers were out on the Green practicing.
As one of them was about to bowl, they saw a funeral procession go by.
Instead of bowling, the bowler removed his cap and placed it on his chest until the funeral had passed.
At this point, one of the others said, "You know, that was the most touching thing I've ever seen."
And the bowler answers, "Well, I was married to her for 55 years. It was the least I could do!"

---

“It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.” – Harry S. Truman

Last edited on 01 Dec 2015 22:42 by Connors Show more

Re: Bowls Jokes (Inc Old, Sports, etc)

Connors 12 Jan 2018 23:37

Link to some good ones including other short jokes and puns

Fun Side of Bowls

---

“It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.” – Harry S. Truman